Go to Sleep! (Bethenny Voice)
Sleep is a precious, beautiful thing.
I’ve never been good at sleeping. I get hot, think about all of my problems and become scared of ghosts during the night. Although I’m bad at sleeping, I still need a certain amount of sleep to be a productive member of society. That being said, I’m always tired. I’m always cranky. Basically, I’m always a bitch.
Being a mom has brought this to new levels.
Will is a pretty good sleeper for someone his age. But he goes through these phases of waking up for some reason and it’s not cool. Last week, for example, something was bothering him. It was either his teeth (which are trying to come through), his skin (we are trying to figure out why he gets a rash), or something else. Why can’t he just start talking and tell me?
Having a newborn isn’t easy. I don’t care how good your kid is. Sleep deprivation is real. I’m lucky enough to have my family nearby. So when Will was a newborn and I wanted to stab myself in the eyeballs, I was able to get a night off or just a nap! No one can possibly understand the feeling of broken sleep better than new parents. I hate to be that mom that says “you will understand when you’re a mom.” But, sorry, there is no way of knowing this horrendous level of exhaustion until you have a new baby. Many times, my brain just didn’t function. I remember feeling like I just wouldn’t survive.
Back in those days sleeping for four hours straight felt like a dream. Now, if Will wakes up once, Mommy isn’t happy. My husband doesn’t require much sleep. I think it’s the combination of being old (he’s 12 years older than me) and having the anxiety of being the only working person in the family. Whatever the reason, it works for me. He will get up with the baby if I can’t take it. And if Will wakes up at 5:30 am, he will feed him and then go to work. :)
I am also meaner then him. I will let Will cry himself to sleep while my husband wants to “save him.” Luckily we don’t experience this much. We have enough to fight about. The things I have said at 3:00 am are not normal.
For the most part, Will sleeps through the night: most nights it’s 7:00 pm until 5:30 am, then he’ll eat and sleep again until 7:30 am, or sometimes later. Not bad for an almost 6 month old.
I’m still tired. Still cranky. Still a bitch.
But I sure do love that kid.